I was determined to make my mother proud and my brothers and I had promised her that we would take care of each other. Little did I know the secret my mother was taking to the grave. I always knew I did not look like my brothers but we just joked about me being the Dinosaur Christmas Tree Shirt from time to time and didn’t give it much thought. A few months ago, I took my dad a milkshake and sat in the sunroom at the nursing home with him. After 56 years of keeping a secret, my dad asked, do you know who your father is. I almost fell over in the floor with shock. About a year ago, a distant cousin revealed to me that I had a different biological father and that almost everyone on my mother’s side of the family knew of him.
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I had made the decision not to say anything to my dad because I did not want to upset him this late in life. Even though he suffers from dementia, he has great long term memory and that day his mind took him way back. The Dinosaur Christmas Tree Shirt my dad made the decision to tell me was because he wanted me to know where I got my brains and business sense from as if I did not get any good things from him. Months before this conversation, my dad came to the realization that he was not a good husband or father. As much as I longed to hear those words from my dad, I felt sorry for him when he finally acknowledged how little he had done for my brothers and me.
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It was so bad that he claimed he did not think there was any way God would allow him into Heaven because of the Dinosaur Christmas Tree Shirt he had done wrong. Finally, I could ask someone who would know the answers to my questions and my father repeated the story over and over so I was sure he was thinking clearly. My mother was the only female in the first year UNC Law School class the year she met my dad. They had only dated a few times when my mother came to him and asked him if he would marry her. She had fallen in love with my dad very quickly and she explained that she was pregnant and did not want to raise an illegitimate child on her own.