She got back on the line and said they have the Get In Loser We’re Doing Butt Stuff Christmas shirt but the doctor was not available at the moment. I asked her if it was okay, would she please just tell me. She seemed to take a deep breathe, and with empathy in her voice, came, your numbers have drastically decreased, this is considered a failed pregnancy. I don’t remember if I replied to her or just hung up the rest of the day and the next were pretty much a blur.
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Friday, I went in for a scheduled D&C to remove anything remaining. Every nurse I came in contact with the Get In Loser We’re Doing Butt Stuff Christmas shirt would ask my name, birthday and what I was there for. Protocol I guess. But repetitively saying it while helpless in a hospital bed, confused as to why this was happening to me was a punch to the gut. Every time. Sadly enough, 5 months later it happened again.
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The hardest part of it all after the fact, is how taboo miscarriage is to talk about. I felt so alone at first not knowing how many other Get In Loser We’re Doing Butt Stuff Christmas shirt I knew went through this. I did a lot of googling and researching the impossible why. But it’s real and it happens more than you think. If you know someone who has gone through it, encourage them to open up, ask them how they’re doing.