Here’s the problem with #1: she is not and never will be sorry for calling you a bitch, and you have to expect she will call you that again sometime in the 24 Racing Everything Will Kill You So Choose Something Fun T shirt . It’s not the word she called you, it is the disrespect toward you. At this point, you can’t accept any apology from her because it won’t be sincere, and if you DO accept an apology she will see it as you knuckling under to what she wants. So the only thing now that you can accept is her agreeing to go to therapy to find out why she is such an angry person and why she feels entitled to be disrespectful towards you (she won’t agree to go). And that means that you and DH are permanently NC.
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Which brings us to #2: she will turn to everyone DH knows and plead her tail of woe (and lies) and get them to contact you non-stop. So you and 24 Racing Everything Will Kill You So Choose Something Fun T shirt need to figure out what you say to everyone that is a FM. “We appreciate your concern but it is misplaced and not appropriate for you to inject yourself into DHs and his parents relationship. Do you have any plans for the coming weekend?” (set your boundary and change the subject). I also suggest that you and DH get security cameras and a Ring doorbell. When FMs don’t work to bring DH/OP under their thumb, anticipate that ILs will start showing up unannounced. Always keeps your doors locked.