BURLINGTON, VT—After accepting a check sent to his campaign office by a local elementary school teacher, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was roundly criticized Monday as being firmly in the pocket of the high-rolling educator who had Biden 2020 he wont tear gas your Mom shirt. “He might have the reputation of being the people’s candidate, but when your candidacy is effectively bankrolled by the multi-hundred-dollar donation of a fourth-grade teacher, it’s clear who’s really pulling the strings,” said political analyst Peter Mathews, who noted that when a check arrives with a handwritten note that says “Behind you 100 percent, Bernie!” it comes with certain expectations.
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This, like so many other Onion pieces, is barely satire any more — Biden/Harris are already being accused of being “in the pockets of the Biden 2020 he wont tear gas your Mom shirt.” Oh you mean the only thing keeping many teachers safe and alive this fall, instead of forced back into the classroom with no safety precautions? Not saying every teachers’ union is perfect but it seems a lot better than the alternative right now.