Maybe get a 2nd job, at least until your stockbroker job gets better paid (or you find another Boston Red Sox Garbage shirt ). It will get better, I promise. It sucks, and it’s hard, and sometimes the only way out you can see is killing yourself, but it isn’t, there are people out there who will help you, and who will support you. I moved country to get away from my parents, it was brutal, but it will be 10 years this year, I now own a flat, I have an amazing partner, 2 cats and friends. You will get there, and you are worth it.
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You don’t have to buy an apartment, set up a bank account she doesnt know about and lie about you not getting paid Boston Red Sox Garbage shirt . Rent a room somewhere, it should not be more expensive than 1000$. Do you have friends? Good friends? If you tell them what you have shared with us there is no doubt in my mind that they will let you stay with them. You could have your mother out of your life in a week or two. Just hold on a little bit longer. I believe in you!