I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at the thought that you can change their mind. You’ve had what, 30 years or more to get this woman who should love you unconditionally to care about Camping With American Flag Camp shirt and not be a horrible person to you and your actual family? I’m going to guess 30, give or take a few decades. Imagine a badly behaved toddler who refuses to share, is mean to everyone, never gets out of the ‘mine’ phase, and realizes that if they can’t get attention from being good, they’ll get it from being bad. Except this toddler is a grown-ass woman with a checkbook and bad haircut.
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It took me almost 40 years to realize that my NDad never truly loved anyone but himself, and even that was a Camping With American Flag Camp shirt. By the time I did, I asked myself if I wanted to confront him now or just wait for him to die naturally? It took two years, but he eventually had his stroke. I cut contact to the lowest of low contact in that time, and refused to let him around my kids unsupervised. Not that he wanted to be around them, anyway. Deep down, you already know that she’ll never be the mother you deserved, nor the grandmother your kids deserve.