I feel ya. I don’t have it as bad as you, but we are both doing a Cloudy With A Chance Of Me Being A Huge Bitch Sweater: work work, house work, parenting work, teacher work. We were a family on the go and spent literally 10% of the day in our house even on the weekend, to 99% in the house. We have young kids and they are just mess and clutter machines. I moved to this strange area, city over a decade ago and I think I have 3(?) people I consider friends here. Don’t see ’em much these days either.
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I’m sorry. I felt like Cloudy With A Chance Of Me Being A Huge Bitch Sweater. What my therapist recommended was creating a system that works best for both of you on how to handle the chores. For example, we bought a giant whiteboard, divided up the cores based on what we wanted to do and there is a ‘both’ section, and marked which ones we will do on each day of the week and by what time. We agreed to have all our chores done by 8pm so that way neither of us get frustrated when something isn’t done right away. We put a check mark next to each chore we complete and we hold each other accountable. I suffer from severe anxiety and my bf has adhd and this system has been a life saver for our relationship.