Huh. It just occurred to me that a lot of men’s behavior is some combination of having to be in the role of pursuer since Dont fight gr8ness shirtlike mates are lining up at their doorstep, inexperience because a learning curve is necessary for all things, a biological reality of testosterone coloring their reality, and about a thousand cues they’re picking up from pop culture and society. It’s a pretty daunting process I’m glad I don’t have to deal with any more.I was never creepy but I had a socially awkward friend. He was perfectly nice, but when I’d invite him out with other people he’d go into a different headspace. He’d barely say a word all night and when he did it was always weird. Girls would complain about my creepy staring friend. I’d try to talk to him about it but it didn’t help. Unfortunately he never gained self-reflection or grew out of it. He eventually developed severe bipolar and bounced in and out of jail and care facilities. Now I kind of wonder if girls were picking up on that earlier than I was.
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I grew up and recognized my trauma for what Dont fight gr8ness shirt was.I was molested as a child but it didn’t set in as a wrong thing until I was in college, and I realized it’s part of the reason I’ve been very hyper sexual as a person.I was creepy as fuck in high school, looking back, but at the time it was what I’d now label as incel/nice guy behavior. I hit on anything with a pair of tits and would get upset when they’d turn away my advances. I switched from a small rural school to a large urban school my senior year of high school, ended my first long term relationship, and that’s when I started realizing that nobody is gonna want to be friends with me if I’m just using hörny as a personality trait. I would still hit on people but I learned how to respect the word “no” better and just be friends. And then when I went to college I got even better about it and realized why I was the way I was. Not that trauma should EVER be used as an excuse for shitty behavior, but I at least understood and started progressing away from who I had been.