As for James and John, the “Farmer I can’t fix stupid but I can feed one shirt”, or Sons of Thunder were also impulsive and passionate. They were less prone than Peter, perhaps to speak before acting but the tendency was there, as seen where they declare that they would go to Jerusalem to die w/Jesus, but. of course, all of them scattered when Jesus was arrested. The inner circle of Peter, James and John is evidenced in several different places in the gospels. Jesus took those three w/Him to the Mount of Transfiguration, where he met w/a glorified Moses and Elijah. They were called to go w/him when he raised a young girl from the dead. And they were called, specifically, to go further w/Him, alone, in the Garden of Gethsemane, on the night before He was crucified. However, the mother of the Sons of Thunder approached the Lord and asked Him to grant that her sons be allowed to sit in special positions in His kingdom. The Lord informed her that it was not for Him to grant that privilege and went on to tell His apostles that in order to be great in His kingdom, one must be willing to serve. There would be no vying for power in His kingdom. He served us all.
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What did Mary feel? She must have Farmer I can’t fix stupid but I can feed one shirt, all the disciples did, except Judas. That does not necessarily mean romantic love. Jesus asks John to look after his mother after he is gone, but he doesn’t ask him to look after Mary Magdalene. He would have, if she was his wife. Does that not make sense? If Mary wished to be wife of Jesus, there was no sin in that, any woman can desire such a husband come savior, but was it feasible? May be she wished but never happened, maybe it did happen and history didn’t confirm, or maybe there was nothing and all these speculations are just fantasies. That is the answer to your question.