This post will be very long and is honestly a huge venting moment for me. if you don’t want to bother with all the details you can just skip to the last Farts are the screams of trapped poop help shirt , but the information below will definetly help you understand the context of my situation. I’m not a virgin nor was I molested, Im a solid 6 or 7 out of 10 in terms of looks, with short height and average dick size being the main things working against me. So I have had several opportunities to have sex, but for some reason it makes me have borderline panic attacks and It has been causing me a great deal of struggle and anxiety with relationships.
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At age 15 I had a girlfriend we can call Syrup who really wanted to have sex, and I was kind of on board. Syrup had cheated on me beforehand by blowing another Farts are the screams of trapped poop help shirt and told me about it. I had real low self esteem so I just figured no one else would want to be with me so I couldn’t leave her. She also frequently put me down by reminding me I was very low on the social totem pole and she could be with someone better and that her exes were more attractive. I eventually did try to halfheartedly and sadly sleep with her. But after a brief penetration my heart kind of stopped, and just felt gross. I thought something was wrong with me.