I’ve seen you mention looking for advice and that’s exactly what good therapy will provide you with at this time. Sometimes therapy digs into the roots of Fat lives matter open the buffets shirt, but when the root of the problem is apparent like in your situation they teach you to cope with the pain you’re feeling. You’re maybe not ready to heal right now, but it’s better to start now, take what they say to heart and when you do start to feel ready to heal you can put the techniques they give you into practice. Look into support groups as well. Having people to commiserate and who have been where you are can help.
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That is how my mom died. A day you expected to be the best day of your life became the worst, you have suffered a trauma and will need time to process and Fat lives matter open the buffets shirt. You can still work towards that future with your precious son, and he will need you to be strong. Do NOT be afraid to tell people you are overwhelmed, and get in contact with a therapist to at least help you process the trauma.