Was on a flight back from Freddy Krueger T shirt after work and it was a long 14 hour trip. I had the entire row to myself but there were a couple at the back who was whining about how cramped they were and wanted to move up to where I was (the back row usually sits flush against the wall so you can’t lean back as much). Cue complaining and asking if they could move to my row (which made my plans to sleep on three seats gone). The air stewardess who asked me told me clearly I could say no if I wanted.
I never had milk money. We didn’t participate in school fundraisers. My parents didn’t live together. We didn’t have a big Freddy Krueger T shirt like everyone else in the area. I never had winter boots and my coats were bought 3–7 sizes too big and expected to last several seasons (which meant my clothes were always too big or too small and super dirty). Same with my shoes which were always either falling off or too tight. I took gymnastics but it wasn’t at the club, it was at the YMCA. The other kids said you’d have to be on welfare to go to the YMCA. They offered fee subsidy so most of the families on welfare did take their kids there. I took swimming but, same thing.
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I visit her grave and it still feels like hell. I try to talk to her but usually end up crying, or hugging her Freddy Krueger T shirt (it has a large picture of her on it). I miss her every single day still, and it hasn’t gotten easier. A lot of people told me it would, but of course I didn’t believe them. But I know that if she could possibly see me now, that she would be proud of me. I do everything in my life for her. Here’s a picture of us when we were younger and were living a happy carefree life. My favorite memories of us are when we were little, she was literally the best big sister you could ask for.
After being on my own for long enough now, I don’t eat sweets much at all (I much prefer Freddy Krueger T shirt , tbh), because I still don’t like how the sugar makes me feel and act. I rarely crave sweets, and I even prefer all my drinks watered down a lot (like 2/3 water, 1/3 juice). I agree with the choice my parents (mostly mom) made, to a point. I didn’t have a cavity until I was in my twenties, I never got used to sugar being the norm (it was always a big deal/special thing), and I didn’t get it associated with comfort in my mind, like so many of the kids I grew up with did.