My outrage gave me a bowel movement that must have been congealing for hours. I rushed to the water closet to free the prairie dog. I was staring through the bathroom doorway when the Fun You Can&39;t Tell Me What To Do You&39;re Not My GrandKids T-Shirt , well, just sorta slammed shut. There I saw myself in the full-length mirror behind the door, looking like a dead body with its pants around its ankles. The smoking skeleton stood behind the toilet. I may or may not have spiraled in the air and flung my fudgey cargo like one of those manure spreaders. Facing my toilet, there was nothing behind it but the bathroom wall.
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“Almost everyone has called in sick! There’s barely enough of us to man the kitchen and the registers both!” She rapid-fired these words before a “How-kin-I-help-you?” to the next frowning fat-ass in a long line of frowning fat-asses. Ever the glorified slave, I jumped in Fun You Can&39;t Tell Me What To Do You&39;re Not My GrandKids T-Shirt and did triple-duty with my crew. My world became a blur of bags, babbling headsets, the sting of fryer grease, and angry fat faces itching for their next heart attack. Those are the moments in which I blank out by instinct. I was so in the flow that I didn’t hear Mike in the kitchen curse and say something about the spatula disappearing.