Sigh Portia and I took the starters which am sure a catering company provided to the men in front. I wanted to start with the guy closer to me but when I looked at my so called husband he gives a look I don’t know and I find myself going to him and serving him with my head bowed down. Why in the hell am I not looking at him in the eye? Fuck! I walk back to the kitchen and come back and the guys I laughing and saying somethings but I can’t hear a thing. I want to get out of this lounge it’s hot here.
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I walk out of there as fast as I can to the kitchen, I place the tray on the counter and pace up and down the kitchen. “ I will be in the kitchen if you need me” what the fuck was that? Why did I say that? Shit maan what the hell is this what is happening to me? Am I scared of him! No I want to fuck him but can I handle him? Of course I can no no no Thembeka pull yourself together. I need I drink. I look around and find a bottle of whiskey and I pour myself a glass and brought it to my mouth.