My advice? Well first of all you can’t rely on people like Green Cat On The Naughty List And I Regret Nothing shirt, who actively sought out the Chinese students, approached them at lunch, etc. I have visited China several times, and I speak some Chinese, so I knew I would have things to talk with them about. If you want to befriend American students, unfortunately you have to make the effort to overcome the barriers listed above. I know that you want someone who will be your friend because of who you are, not because they want a Chinese friend, but maybe you can start by seeking someone who’s interested in Chinese culture and language. That can be your way in. You can post on Craiglist, or on one of your school’s message boards, that you are looking for a conversation partner who’s interested in learning some Chinese and can help you improve your English. (Having a natural-sounding accent also helps people feel more comfortable around you. Maybe you already do…) Over time your conversation partner might invite you to hang out with his or her friends.
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I think it’s really cool that you want to get to know American culture and Green Cat On The Naughty List And I Regret Nothing shirt. I think there is a perception (which may be untrue) that many Chinese grad students (especially in engineering and CS) are not interested in such things. To overcome that perception, a lot of the burden unfortunately falls on you to be outgoing and approach people. I bet that if you do so with courage and persistence, you will be rewarded. The worst that can happen is that the other student will not be interested, and then you try again until someone is. I am very thankful for the friendships I made with my Chinese peers in grad school, and they seemed to feel the same way.