I reeeeallly wanted to be Effie from Skins. I had an eating disorder and I put the she in shenanigans life is good shirt told I looked like her. I also picked up smoking and drinking in high school. I thought blacking out made me seem cool. When I got to college I was all “I am a carefree sorority girl I have no feelings! look at my cigarettes in my tory burch bag! I’ll go shot for shot with the rugby guys! I’m one of the boys!” and tried to be all aloof and shit. I am actually just anxious and needy and can’t hold my alcohol. Weed stresses me out. I don’t know how to be friends with girls because I’m socially awkward. Nothing to do with being “one of the guys.” That was just not a good time for me. Took a lot of therapy to get me to a good place but I still hate to think about it.
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I went out with 2 friends to lunch (pre-covid). One was kind of a I put the she in shenanigans life is good shirt, one was a stereotypical tomboy “im one of the guys” type, but not in a good way, in a “im not like other girls” trying too hard. They were meeting each other for the first time and basically anything my girly friend said she liked my other friend would immediatley go “I hate that” or “eww you actually like that” my girly friend went to the batbroom and my tomboy friend asked me why I was hanging out with a “basic bitch” I told her she was out of line and needed to stop being an ass. She got up to leave and said “its not my fault she’s like every other girl and I’m not.”