I’m a parent of 4, my oldest is 9 and we just let him in on the I’m A Proud Son-In-Law Of A Freaking Awesome Mother-In-Law T-Shirt. How I see it is not at all to get on the naughty or nice list, I don’t think my kids even know about that part of it. It is doing something for someone else without getting the credit. I’m doing something nice for them with no expectation of getting anything in return. And now my oldest gets to do the same thing, he’s “in the club” and gets to sneak to do nice things and help buy stuff for his siblings and see the joy on their face just to see the happiness and joy, not to get a thank you or a gift in return. We stuff give each other a gift but besides one gift everything else is from Santa. I understand the “lie” but it is a little secret to show love without wanting anything in return.
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Our kids have little fun or useful presents from Santa (hair clips, bouncy balls, new tooth brushes, socks) but anything of I’m A Proud Son-In-Law Of A Freaking Awesome Mother-In-Law T-Shirt and they know. I think it’s important they understand the value of a gift, but I’m happy for there to be a bit of magic around Christmas – they get so excited and it brings them joy. This world is dark and crap, and this year my kids haven’t seen most of the people we know and love so making things special and magical feels important. We also never, ever use it as a parenting technique or to modify behaviours. Just fun for the day.