My bf has told me that there were times when he was growing up that she would latch onto other people’s daughters (usually I’m Not Shy I’m Just Good At Figuring Out Who’s Worth Talking To T-Shirt or coworkers), and act like they were the daughters she never had. But it would get to the point that her friends would get creeped out by how obsessed she was with their daughters, and cut off contact with her. She also gave up more on parenting after having my bf’s two younger brothers, because I guess she wasn’t to enthused about raising more boys, and my bf has said that she and his dad were just so “tired” by then that they didn’t want to bother. Particularly with the youngest one. He says they let his brother get away with so much stuff that he would have been grounded (or beaten by dear old dad) for, and really didn’t set boundaries with him.
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So my boyfriend has had a rough time transitioning to adulthood. Again, I’m pretty sure he’s mildly autistic, which is part of why it’s been difficult for him to find stable I’m Not Shy I’m Just Good At Figuring Out Who’s Worth Talking To T-Shirt . But his parents also made him believe that he just didn’t have a choice to do anything but retail or manual labor jobs, since he wasn’t a stellar student in school (not that he was bad. Just pretty average, and not good at math. And he sadly probably didn’t get the greatest education at the schools he attended in this town he grew up in). They obviously had no money to help him pay for any kind of higher education. But, he did finally get a full time job recently, and moved out of his parents’ house last year.