Hey dude. Can I ask you a question? Most of my extended family is in Just a girl who loves Foxes shirt and I don’t talk to 99.9% of them because half of them are toxic trash. It’s made me very guarded and I keep to myself. As a consequence of this and growing up around mostly American culture, I’m not really as in tune with Desi culture as I’d like to be. I’ve become VERY Americanized. And as horrible as it sounds, since my only exposure to Desi culture came from my family, I distanced myself from it as best I could for a while. I’m realizing that was a mistake and I’m trying to find my way back, though. We all know the stereotypes and as you’ve read, I’ve definitely lived it. But from your perspective, is my parents’ behavior typical desi toxic? Or is it beyond even Desi toxic?
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For reference I am desi and Australian. I think your parents are on the more extreme end of the Just a girl who loves Foxes shirt . But they are far from the “worst”. That doesn’t make any of this okay though. I think this is largely exacerbated by your grandfathers actions. I think if it weren’t for your granddad, they would be a lot more “normal”. There is a sense of desperation that goes beyond our cultural stereotypes. They don’t deserve to be defended, but I feel sorry for them. Also, there’s nothing wrong with being integrated into America. I do not relate to Desi culture either, I find it largely uninteresting and aspects of it are absolutely a bit shit. There is no issue with you not relating to your cultural roots. You shouldn’t be shamed for that.