The point being, for your own sake and your family’s, your priority really should be your wife and her Legends Were Born In August 2000 19th Birthday T-Shirt. You might not need to cut your parents off completely if you don’t want to do that, but you probably are going to have to tell them that there won’t be any more family visits until they’re willing to do a little reading/thinking/talking about their hangups and issues with people of other races. And to be clear, they’re not likely to do that, are they? But those are your choices. You can’t “make peace” between people who are being attacked because of their race and people who are doing the attacking. The attacks have to stop first.
One last thing, I understand what you intended but I would not describe the totality of this as a series of “microaggressions”. Not much “micro” about any of this. Your parents were being ugly white folks and were out of line. No technical distinctions needed.
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OP seems to have a lot of trouble telling the difference between discovering an objective fact (like “the sky is blue”) and forming a personal Legends Were Born In August 2000 19th Birthday T-Shirt (like “this is a no-win conversation and it’s my job to end it”). They’re coming at this conversation like a neutral authority figure, not like an actual participant in the conversation who brings just as much in terms of stakes, biases, and baggage to it as everyone else does.
Honestly, the point where I lost it was when OP said that they were just trying to explain basic empathy for other people, and not trying to insult anyone. BROTHER, IMPLYING THAT SOMEONE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT EMPATHY IS IS INSULTING SOMEONE!
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