I must think of the post right now, and not of my hand. Or my life, that never leaves. Something liquid falls on my My Son Defend Your Freedom Just Imagine What He Would Do For me Veteran American Flag Shirt and keyboard: is it tears? Snot? Saliva? Of course it’s all of them, while I clench my teeth once again, because like an idiot I reminded that-FFFUUUUUUCCCCCK! I mutter, or at least I think so. There’s so much noise I can barely hear what I say, and the lights… oh, the colored lights of migraine. No, please no, not right now an- Wait. Let’s check the time: 2 A.M. Damn. But no, I can’t stop, don’t stop, won’t stop. Frame 8 must get out, Kkcwhiteboard awaits, they have been waiting for weeks an-What? Why are the neighbors complaining about of the noise?
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But as I lift up my head, I commit the mistake of gazing into the mirror: I don’t like what I see, looking at me from the My Son Defend Your Freedom Just Imagine What He Would Do For me Veteran American Flag Shirt . I don’t like that face, that smile, those eyes. We know you, they seem to say, and we judge. “That’s why Daddy left,” says the smiling face, “It’s because of you.” No, that’s not true! Stop it! Gollum! Gollum!
I run away, back to the pc, where the pages await in cruelty. I must finish the post, I must… or Kkcwhiteboard will say I’m disappointing. And that’s not acceptable. We all can bear our flaws, as long as nobody points them out aloud. I’m not late, I’m alive, there’s still time! Clickety-clack goes the keyboard, while I nod to an unspoken rhythm only I can hear. I wish I could say it relaxes me, but of course it does not. Nodding to the beat isn’t a medicine, but rather oxygen. It won’t solve anything, but without it I’d drown. Clicketyclackandlet’scheck, wonder how much of Frame 8 I still gotta type.
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