You’re hurt, but you’ve still got a lot of Osprey Hunting Shirt in you. You are, after all, protecting your home from these invaders. You take aim with your crossbow again, and nail the human in the shoulder. It’s a great shot; he’ll be unable to lift his arm now, much less draw his bow. You dodge the dwarf again, and you still can’t locate the halfling, but then the stupid, annoying elf starts chanting in some obnoxious elf language, and suddenly your well-aimed crossbow bolt magically removes itself from the human’s shoulder, and the wound closes! See, this is why you’ve always hated elves. You know when you’re outmatched, so you turn and run for your secret exit, but as you round the corner, the halfling is suddenly there, and surprises you with a dagger in the ribs. The last thing you see is her little halfling face hanging above you, smiling under a dark gray hood as your breath bubbles with blood in your chest. Your eyes close, and you hear the stupid elf chanting again. Then nothing.
A trick I use to respond to these surprise actions by my players on the Osprey Hunting Shirt is to build up a library of narrative templates in my head. You do that by reading, watching and enjoying tons of fantasy shows and storylines. And even non-fantasy ones. I can’t count how many times I ripped off the dialogue and characters from an anime, a K-Drama, video game or an American TV show to retrofit into the campaign on a moment’s notice. Keep watching, reading and playing tons of fiction, it will build your DM Vocabulary greatly. A huge benefit to this approach is that you don’t spend dozens of hours designing an encounter and a boss enemy, only for the players to derail it through clever thinking or extremely lucky dice rolling, and watching all your hard work go up in smoke.
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Once all the Osprey Hunting Shirt room goons are dealt with (they never actually got to leave their little room, the agent just kept tossing grenades in), the Lady announces that it’s time to introduce them to the club’s head bouncer, “M.C. Hatchbuster.” For those familiar with the module this is the character Vrokilayo Hatchbuster, a Vesk (think big-ass lizard man) Soldier, the right-hand man of the gang’s leader. He comes out dancing to “Gangnam Style,” wearing ridiculous shades (they protect him from the Lady’s illusions), accompanied by about six illusory copies of himself generated by the DJ.
Once upon a Osprey Hunting Shirt , there was a mom who’d never heard of this elf business, but had moved to CA from ND and had two, nearly three, kids, one of whom was a very precocious three year old. This mom had a mom, we’ll call her grandma, who had an Elf. Grandma gave the mom a rudimentary breakdown of the “Elf” game, and then gave a much more elaborate breakdown of it to the precocious three year old and his one year old brother. And so, the Elf game was begun. The rules in this household (as understood by the mom) were basically that the Elf would arrive on December 1. He’d hide somewhere in the house, watch the children all day, and report back to Santa each night, arriving again before the children awoke, hiding in a new spot, and waiting another day. On December 24, the elf would go home with Santa in his sleigh, his duty done til next year. The Elf wouldn’t be touched, or he’d turn into a doll again and no “extra special Elf gift” would be waiting with Santa’s gift that year. The children (the three year old) named their elf “Holly Jolly.” The game began and was easy, as the family lived with Grandma and Grandpa, who had a very large, very nice house with *very* high ceilings (and therefore lots of high hiding places for the elf, far from reach).