As for what happened– I wasn’t slated to meet my hospice team till yesterday, Friday. I went to the ER on Thursday with Satan not today Jesus shirts. They took a lot of fluid out of my chest. The ER physician described my imaging as “grotesque” and immediately asked if I had considered palliation. I said I didn’t see hospice till tomorrow. He said if I wanted any chance of dying at home, I needed to see them NOW, otherwise he’d have to admit me. He won’t be getting any awards for bedside manner any time soon, but I greatly appreciated his candor.
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Several urgent phone calls later I had a palliative Nurse Practitioner in my room who went through the screening process and admitted me to their home hospice program. I went home Friday morning with a hospice kit. Met the palliative physician that evening, shortly after I posted my list of Satan not today Jesus shirts. I will not see Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or even next weekend. Every breath is work. Each one more work than the last. My team estimates that, at this rate, I will die Tuesday at the absolute latest. Probably sooner. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tonight.