Anyway, on to her next Sea Turtle Floral Hawaiian Shirt – Short quality: her obsession with having the *perfect* faaaaamily. And she gets to decide who rates admission to said *perfect* family. As background: MIL had a messed-up upbringing, full of a checked-out dad, and an alcoholic/adulterous/semi-incestuous (to her daughters) mom. Throw in a whole heap of siblings born of Catholic guilt and you’ve got yourself a big, steaming crap-pie to grow up in. That hugely sucks, and she has my complete sympathy. Where it all went wrong is that she decided she was going to right all those wrongs by building the *perfect* family. To do this, she needs absolute control, and all kids learn early that it is just so much easier not to go against JNMIL & eFIL (the “head” of the household, lol). Having your own opinion is discouraged, unless it happens to exactly mirror hers, and she will wear you down for as long as it takes until you “agree” with her. And DON’T do anything that would even remotely threaten the family image! It works well enough, and her kids grew up compliant, and worthy of showing off to the outside world to show what a great mom she is. At least until I roll up on the scene.
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My parents were not what you’d call image-obsessed Sea Turtle Floral Hawaiian Shirt – Short, especially my dad’s side of the family, which could be politely called “redneck”. My mom had a more gentle upbringing, which meant I was tempered with decent manners into merely being sassy, classy, and a little bit smart-assy. So I’m not outright objectionable, but still a walking CBF-inducement to people like JNMIL. I didn’t know this yet, because when DH & I first got together I was young, naive, and my past boyfriends’ moms had LOVED me. And JNMIL couldn’t outright SAY I wasn’t good enough for her *perfect* family, cuz that would ruin her saintly image. But as a resourceful woman, she found ways over the years to let me know all the same. A lot of these are BEC in isolation, but combined over years & years, add up to what I finally realized is a JustNo.
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