She said something like “I’ve travelled every way known to man, but I’ve never been carried by a Skull hooligan Saint Patricks day shirt. I’m looking forward to completing my list.” Dave said- and totally meant it, which gave it a devastating power – “Really? That must be awesome! What’s it like on a submarine?” Watching her flounder, prevaricate, and finally have to answer “er, I’ve never been on a submarine” was way more enjoyable than it should have been, were I a more worthy person. I’m not though, so it was great.
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I spent my middle school years wearing fake coontail extensions and Skull hooligan Saint Patricks day shirt “I’ll kill you” to anyone who tried talking to me. Especially other girls. I don’t know what the fuck was wrong with me but I’m still lying awake at night replaying it all a decade later. Edit to answer a few questions, I guess I thought it made me cool and mysterious? I also bragged about not having any friends for some reason. I was a Girl Scout at the time as well and it was so bad the troop leader suggested I find a new troop. I was very odd and standoffish, I had severe undiagnosed anxiety, and I never really developed basic social skills as a kid. Around 16 I finally realized how shitty I was and dropped the weird fake mean persona. I’m a well adjusted adult now!