I am 1 in 200. Just 0.5% of babies are stillborn; for those who don’t know Snack Movies Popcorn Pajamas Pizza Movie Night shirt, stillbirth is classified from 20 weeks and later. Yes, I actually delivered my deceased baby. And though my baby was structurally normal, he had a rare chromosomal abnormality that was present in some but not all cells. So rare that the genetics and MFM team had to search for literature on it and couldn’t find anything, and they still can’t definitively explain how it contributed to his death. We’ll never fully understand how or why he died. Statistics no longer comfort me. Hearing something is “rare” or “unlikely” doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. Numbers are just numbers; somebody has to be the one unlucky, unsuspecting victim who gets hit with an arrow standing among 200 other people, and I guess it’s going to keep being me
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But the numbers don’t tell the whole story. Behind these numbers is agony, anxiety, depression, self-hatred, and Snack Movies Popcorn Pajamas Pizza Movie Night shirt . Dreams tentatively dreamt, and then dashed as life cruelly laughs in your face again for thinking you could be so bold as to make plans. Burning, yearning for answers… “why?” … and getting none that make sense. And for us, two little lives lost… children we were excited to have in our family. Vanishing faces from family portraits. Empty spots on the calendar where due dates once were.