I watched a friend call into work at a nursing home and he told her he had FAS (Social worker rabbit leopard floral shirt and a registered nurse told him to feel better and see him on his next shift.We laughed so fucking hard as soon as he hung up.I used to be a part of a thing called “Teen Court,” which was basically a real trial in court managed by high schoolers. Teen Court would act as an alternative for minors who were caught breaking basic road laws. We wouldn’t handle serious cases.One of the cases I was a part of involved a kid who was caught driving without a license or permit. According to the cop, who was always a witness to these cases, the mom was in the back of the car and claimed that her son was fine because “I’m his parent and I’m in the car, right?”Don’t remember what the sentence was, but it still stuck with me among all the generic cases we saw.
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So I’m the manager of a pub kitchen, I take over from someone who was on the day Social worker rabbit leopard floral shirt and find there’s a load of vegetable oil had been spilt behind the cookline/fridges. I ask him about it and his response… ‘I cleaned up half of it’. Like seriously, that’s acceptable to you? Not much else needed to be said for me. He did not last much longerI was working low level collections (60-90 days delinquent) for a major credit card company. When asked why he was late with his payment, the cardholder replied: “When I was 5-years-old, the FBI disguised themselves as my dentist and injected yellow jaundice into my big toe.”Me: “Sir, you’re 39 now, this event that happened 34 years ago didn’t prevent you from opening this card and spending the money, so I’m positive it didn’t cause you to fall behind either. Grab your checkbook.”