So God gets coma-cancer in the form of his brother-but-not-really, Satan. Satan wants to take over the universe because it’d be pretty Some grandmas knit real grandmas listen to Eric Church shirt, but God took his medicine before he went to sleep & the pills just activated. 6 color-coded heroes wash up on the island that everyone lives on with no memory of who they are, just their names and a vague sense of mastery over their respective elements. The Old Fucks of the island find them & tell them they gotta get mo’ swole if they wanna beat up Satan, wake up God, and save the universe.
Cue training montage of them beating up wild animals (it’s ok, they were infected with Satan), finding these weird insect things & going “yo the fuck are these” which someone really ought to have known the answer to considering they’re God’s cleaning crew, but we’ll overlook that for now because yep, there’s more weird insect things and this time they’re angry. So they beat up the weird insect things’ queens and save(?) the day, and get dope 2003-round-sci-fi-style transformations.
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Issue: the MacGuffin is a bit of a prankster, a little bit of a jokester, and it don’t like being touched all too much, so one of our Some grandmas knit real grandmas listen to Eric Church shirt (they changed names when they got the scuba gear, they’re the Toa Mahri now) sacrifices himself in a moment that was a lot of real-life kids’ first introduction to sacrifice & heroism, to use the MacGuffin and revive God, who died while all of this was happening.
All that’s left now is to kickstart God’s heart and badda bing badda boom, universe saved. Thankfully, while the Inika/Mahri were busy, the Toa Nuva (our first Toa group) got away from their kidnappers (turns out they were in the Pirakas’ custody the whole time), and met up with a couple members of the Illuminati who told them where to go to find God’s heart.
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