He turned his head and gave me an appraising, up-and-down stare. And not the horny, let’s-see-what-she’s-packing looks that I get so many of Songohan and Songoku Dragon Ball shirt(even if Jan gets way more). This was more like an assessment, like I was being evaluated to see if I was worth sparing any attention to. Whatever the test was, I must have passed, because the stranger, Mr. Uktena, offered a polite nod and, in a deep, choir-leader’s voice, replied, “A pound of raw ground beef at room temperature will do nicely, thank you.”
Okay, weird, but once again, a long way from being the weirdest thing a customer has ever asked me for. I also didn’t bother asking him to repeat that, because I knew I hadn’t misheard and I somehow got the feeling that Mr. Uktena was the kind of man who was precise with his words. The kind of man who, if he said something, straight-up meant it. Still, though… “I’m sorry, sir. Health and Safety regulations forbid us from selling raw meat. The Health Inspector would have a conniption if he caught us doing that.”
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When I brought it out to their booth, Uktena and the Songohan and Songoku Dragon Ball shirt were deep into a conversation, the couple’s faces more serious than I’d yet seen them. “Gaining access is a simple enough matter,” the dark man was saying as I came up. “Once within, though–” He stopped as I came up and set his order down, looking at the plate full of raw hamburger meat with every sign of relish. He licked his lips, slowly enough that I could make out a strange notch in the tip of his tongue. “This will do quite well,” he said, then smiled at me. I didn’t like that smile. It was too wide, like the corners of his mouth were going to touch his ears if it went just a little further. I think he noticed my reaction, because he chuckle-sneered just faintly enough that you couldn’t take offense at it, then grabbed about a quarter-pound of meat in one hand and crammed the whole thing into his mouth.
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