One thing I’d like to mention is the Surrealism girl Devil shirt my friends and I refer to as “kiddie” D&D. You get an almost perfect example of it in Stranger Things. Kids (which for this situation basically means middle school or early teens) have very little clue what the heck the actual rules are. They make ridiculous stuff up, write hideously unbalanced house rules, hand out crazy magic items like tossing candy off a parade float and generally break the game ninety different ways each time they play. And they have a blast doing it. Which brings me to the very first, most fundamental rule of D&D, “If everyone’s having fun, you’re doing it right.
If you aren’t casting Eldritch Blast much of the time who cares? If you have the Misty Visions Invocation then you can completely mess up the sight of a set of Surrealism girl Devil shirt either by “fake cover” so they can’t see your allies or things dancing round their heads so they can’t see your allies. This sort of advantage to attack them and disadvantage to their attacks combination is frequently worth more than a round of attacks and there isn’t really a saving throw possible without burning an action. (It also annoys some DMs so take care). A Celestial Warlock gets +Cha 1/turn to fire or radiant damage at level 6 and gets the Sacred Flame cantrip. But in a low combat game where you use misty visions it’s near enough. A Celestial Pact of the Tome Warlock can also pick up Green-Flame Blade as an extra cantrip meaning that from level 6 their melee attack does [Basic Melee attack] + 1d8 fire + Cha damage to their primary target and Cha to their secondary target. Throw in a magic weapon (and possibly the Shileileigh cantrip to use Cha to attack) and you’re doing Eldritch Blast/Pact of the Blade damage without wasting an invocation.
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Emen Bloodbinder the Ruthless of Narfell. Hilariously, the Surrealism girl Devil shirt of Bloodbinder Orcs is a Kobold. Remember that bit from above about the Bloodbinders stealing children? Well, they stole a clutch of Kobold eggs on an unexpected raid, and Emen was the only one who hatched. (Azuch may or may not have been sent to smash all of the eggs some years back. He didn’t get there in time.) They wanted Kobolds for some of that natural dragon sorcery that a lot of them have, but Emen just wasn’t born with that genetic lottery. He did, however, turn out to be an excellent Enchantment Wizard, and quickly became the golden child of the tribe as a result. It’s gone to his head since then, and he’s ceased working hard in later years. (For anyone who knows Orcish names and is going “Waaaiiit, isn’t Emen a girl’s name?” Yes, and that’s intentional. According to Volo’s, Kobolds can slowly change sex, and Emen has a tendency to do that himself every few years. He likes his name, though, so that never changes.)
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