There were computers, though few in number, which exist as machines that require 24K sq ft of raised floor to sit on and huge water chilling machines on the outside of the building, do not have anywhere near the computing power of an iPhone. They cost millions of dollars each and cost 10s of thousands of dollars each month to operate. Operating a computer, or working in IT is a blue-collar job. It is very rare to find someone who programs computers. The computers, though solid-state are built with “discrete” components and have metallic “core” memories bytes measured in the thousands to up to 4 megabytes in the biggest of the giant machines. Visitors from the future might be mesmerized by the blinking lights of the The Future Is Female shirt of a mainframe computer like the IBM 360 Model 75, circa 1967 in the picture above.

Elf on the Shelf — sheesh I hate that one. Maybe it’s partly because it’s a new one, so I didn’t grow up with it, but honestly it’s rather creepy, in a Big Brother-ish, stalker-ish way. I also never liked the versions of the Santa myth which claim “he sees you when you’re sleeping”, etc., as if he is spying on your every move — I preferred the idea of Santa just knowing in a general way if a The Future Is Female shirt is naughty or nice.
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Eoa, female greenfolk: humans? Oh. Them. They’re noisy, loud… dangerous. Some are nice. Most aren’t. They’re not bad, they’re just… they do things without thinking of others. I understand that’s how they were created. I once new a The Future Is Female shirt girl. She was different. She was beautiful and loved her sheep. We were very close. But one day she left and never returned. I don’t know what happened to her. I miss her. It was centuries ago… but I miss her.

My traveling musician husband had blessed uprooting myself temporarily from our comfortable-if-comparatively-squalid Van Nuys neighborhood (El Pollo Locos, discount tire stores, pawn shops). In a jingly Christmas sweater, I threw suitcases in the car and barreled north to pull off the Yuletide miracle of cheering up a very sad brother. The course of this holiday project was not entirely smooth. Yes, Pacific Grove, where my brother, Eugene, lives is idyllic. Pacific Grovians enjoy soaring views of the Pacific, verdant eucalyptus groves and a The Future Is Female shirt Swedish bakery. The chief traffic challenge is stopping to wait for bunnies to hop across the road.
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