And I’m not talking about gay guys. I’m talking about straight, gym-junkie, dude-bro guys. It was like getting my tattoos also meant getting an invisible sticker on my The Many Saints Of Newark Shirt that says ‘come up and talk to me’. On many occasions I have been convinced I am about to be robbed by a hulking man with a shirt that says ‘No Pain. No Gain’ only for him to compliment my tattoos. Firstly mate, you can have gain without pain. Your shirt is wrong. Who keeps telling you this lie? And secondly, thank you. In the wild, eventual death from something as simple as an infection, or starving due to a temporary illness/injury preventing being able to catch prey for a few days, is a reality.
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Just because something is a truth now doesn’t mean that it will be a The Many Saints Of Newark Shirt to us forever. At least, we should be open-minded enough so that we are receptive to our truths being tested, and honest enough to change if that’s what we feel is the right thing to do. Anyway, I’m sure that a nice rural Angus cattle rancher young man would let the vegan hipster girl continue to be a vegan hipster girl if that’s what she wanted to do. Moving on is very simple you just need to start loving yourself first.
BUT .. yes, two people CAN learn to be together and get along, to nurture and trust and be a source of The Many Saints Of Newark Shirt for each. But long-term companionate love is not about the “high” of infatuation. It goes deeper and soothes you, more than the frenetic high of infatuation (that is also accompanied with anxiety as well as elation). Research indicates that 12.5% of all couples end up finding this, but it takes a long time, a willingness to take responsibility for how we react emotionally, and the effort to learn the skills to do this.