So my wife hit upon a great idea. We both shower regularly… Why not take the baby into the shower with Totally Bitchin shirt. Nanny Google says it’s fine as long as we’re careful. Bish bash bosh, job’s a good’un. A few days later my wife has had a couple of successful showers with baby, and we’re feeling “we got this” – so, this morning it’s time for a Daddy and Baby shower.
The first fuck up, albeit a relatively minor one, and a mere amuse bouche for the main event happened fairly quickly. I forgot to take him. Sleep deprivation and not the greatest memory to start with makes for a poor combination. However, mid-shave, my wife turns up and presents me with a little naked baby. And so, it’s time. gently, I take my son off my wife, turn the shower down a bit to baby safe temperature, and gently bring him under the water with me. And it’s lovely. My son is super chill, looking like (although I’m not sure he’s mentally able yet) he’s enjoying the sensation.
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So, there I am, being super careful with a wet baby, gently maneuvering him around under the water, cleaning him with Totally Bitchin shirt and generally having a nice time. Once I’m happy he’s nice and clean, I ask my wife to get his little towel ready to take him off of me. So she turns round to grab the towel… and that’s when I feel something a bit warm on my hand… and look down… and yep! My son, not convinced there’s enough water in the shower already, has decided to add his own little contribution to the stream. And there I am, holding him facing away from me ready to pass to his mum. Whilst I face out the shower. Meaning his little contribution has escaped the confines of the bathtub and is busy watering the floor. In a flash I spin around, baby acting like the world’s smallest garden sprinkler, and readjust our stance to “Keep it in the tub kid.” Fuck up #2, quicky dealt with, and still a mere appetiser for the main event…
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