It sounds like her wedding is just going to follow a different kind of tradition than what you’re used to Warning Turtles Are Addictive shirt. A small private event so they can safely get married on their own time, and then a series of parties with all the people who matter to them. Hindu weddings in India are a bit like this – there are a series of parties before the main event where different groups of people are invited.
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It really seems like you resent having to give your daughter that money and were subconsciously looking for a reason to get away with Warning Turtles Are Addictive shirtit. Even if that’s not what you were going for, it’s what unbiased bystanders feel, and it might be how your daughter and others on her side are going to feel, too. YTA. Reconsider, and maybe try actually supporting her.