I also grew up with my mum’s husband flying off the rails constantly. I think she’s just as much a You can’t buy happiness but you can convict Trump shirt, as she’s constantly apologising to everyone for his behaviour and also trying to make mends between him and everyone. I can’t remember the name for this, but there is something. I’m also thankful he didn’t physically hurt the kids, but he has mentally traumatized the 12yr old. Thank god her mum is understanding and allowing us to still see her and take her to therapy. We’re looking at family therapy to help her
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You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t put your family in danger. When he did something wrong, or crossed a You can’t buy happiness but you can convict Trump shirt, you address it, he apologized, and said he would do better. You’re not dumb for wanting to believe him. You’re not wrong for not foreseeing his escalation. His pattern, as you described it was mostly passive aggressive. As for completely cutting him off, you know him better than us. If you lived a lifetime dealing with his BS, and you say enough is enough, then you’re right, it is.
If you decide later, that you do believe he is sorry and will try to do better, I highly recommend you live by the motto actions over words. What is he doing to show he is sorry, and not do it again? is he seeking counseling, cutting back drinking, getting a hobby to get out his aggression, whatever, is he ACTUALLY doing ANYTHING beside trying to make you forgive him?
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